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Thread: Joke Thread

  1. #271
    Join Date
    Jul 2005
    Location
    Lancaster, PA
    Posts
    1,767

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    Three engineering students were gathered together discussing the possible designers of the human body. One said, "It was a mechanical engineer. Just look at all the joints."

    Another said, "No, it was an electrical engineer. The nervous systems has many thousands of electrical connections."

    The last said, "Actually it was a civil engineer. Who else would run a toxic waste pipeline through a recreational area?"

  2. #272
    Join Date
    May 2010
    Location
    Australia
    Posts
    8

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    When the body was first created, all the parts wanted to be Boss. The brain said, "I should be Boss because I control all of the body's responses and functions."

    The feet said, "We should be Boss since we carry the brain about and get him to where he wants to go."

    The hands said, "We should be the Boss because we do all the work and earn all the money."

    Finally, the asshole spoke up. All the parts laughed at the idea of the asshole being the Boss. So, the asshole went on strike, blocked itself up and refused to work.

    Within a short time, the eyes became crossed, the hands clenched, the feet twitched, the heart and lungs began to panic, and the brain fevered. Eventually, they all decided that the asshole should be the Boss, so the motion was passed. All the other parts did all the work while the Boss just sat and passed out the shit!

    Moral Of The Story: You don't need a brain to be a Boss----any asshole will do.

  3. #273
    Join Date
    Jun 2004
    Location
    Renton, WA
    Posts
    1,019

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    Can't remember if I heard this one here or not , so my apologies if so...

    How can you tell if you have a vocalist at your door?

    They can't seem to tell if it's okay to come in
    "Use what talents you possess; the woods would be very silent if no birds sang there except those that sang best." --Henry Van Dyke

  4. #274
    Join Date
    Jun 2004
    Location
    Renton, WA
    Posts
    1,019

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    A blonde gets tired of everyone telling her she's dumb because of her hair color. So she dyes her hair and becomes a brunette. She is surprised by the fact that people begin to treat her more kindly, not putting her down as if she were some kind of a dumb-bunny.

    A few days later, she is driving out in the country and spots a sheep herder in his field tending his flock. She decides to test out her new-found smartness. So she stops and walks up to the sheep herder and says, “If I can correctly guess how many sheep you have in your field, can I have one of them?”

    The sheep herder, thinking it was a safe bet, says, “Sure.”

    She says, “578.”

    The sheep herder says, “That's amazing! That's exactly how many sheep I have. I guess you can go pick out a sheep.”

    So, the blonde picks out a sheep and puts it in the back seat of her car.

    But before she can pull away, the sheep herder says, “Wait. If I can guess your original hair color, can I have my dog back?”
    "Use what talents you possess; the woods would be very silent if no birds sang there except those that sang best." --Henry Van Dyke

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