It was just a year ago today...

[3daudioinc]

I got up that Friday morning in February '05 and helped my wife pack the car because she and the kids were going to Atlanta to spend the weekend with our friends down there. I kissed and hugged all the kids goodbye and told them I would see them on Monday when they returned. Two weeks later, it was very clear that things had forever changed.

Well, that was a year ago. "The rest," as they say, "is history."

[Brad Blackwood]

Lynn, I'm sorry to hear about what you've gone through. I hope you can look around and see the many blessings you have and not let this memory drag on you too hard...

[OldDog]

On her way out of town, she started calling her family, my family and our friends and telling them she was "fleeing" from Nashville because of her abusive husband. She needed to get out of town to make sure she and the kids were safe.

Lynn:

I can't even comprehend what you must have thought or felt being falsely accused, deceived, and humiliated by your wife. I'm so terribly sorry. I didn't know the details of that, but my wife and I were praying for you while you were going through it.

It is really bizarre, but I've heard and witnessed very similar cases. It's like something snaps and possesses these women's minds (and I mean that literally) and suddenly their husband is becomes their worst enemy. They blame everything on their husband and have no desire to reconcile. They divorce, run off, take the kids, remarry right away... it's very destructive and WRONG. I hope you've reconciled with the fact that it's not your fault. There's nothing you could have done to stop it. And praise the Lord, you've got some custody of your kids.

I'll pray for you today. Remember: His mercies are new every morning.

OD

[CharlieN]

Man... sorry to hear about all your troubles Lynn.. can't begin to fathom what it must have been like honestly, but just had a friend that went through something similar this past year, but is happier now that he got more control of his life back. Sometimes we might not see why things like this happen when they do, but it all adds up in the bigger picture. I wish you the best on things man. peace

[stereotype]

OK............you don't know me. And I only know you from reputation both here and around Nashville.

But you seem like such a sweet spirit and nice guy that it makes me concerned for you.

How you feel is more than understandable. But I'd like to offer a thought to you based on my own experience..........and I know it's much easier said than done........

.......At the beginning of every year, my wife gets a new calendar. The FIRST thing she does is to turn the page to the appropriate month and mark the anniversary of her mother's death. It's like she PLANS on being sad and depressed that day. One year, we were out of town and even though my wife knew that day was coming, like on many extended road trips, we simply lost track of what actual day of the week it was. The day passed and before she knew it she had FORGOT to, dare I say...."celebrate"..........her mother's death.
so............long story short, I guess I'm saying that I understand this is a fresh wound. i would never try to dismiss your sadness at it. But if there is any way you can somehow avoid making this some sort of "calendar day", do so. I've had this discussion with my sister-in-law who started doing the same thing as my wife. They would call each other on that day and......well, you know. My sister-in-law finally put a stop to it after about 4 years. It's not that she doesn't honor her mom's memory, it's just that she now doesn't prepare to remember her death and she feels so much better for it.

I suppose like all things.........time will help.

Does that make sense? I really hope so.........because I mean it in the best spirit possible.

[Mark Kramer]

Well now we know a little more about your ordeal. I am sure you've done enough soul searching to fill volumes.

To remain centered throughout this is a big thing.

I came across this. I am sure you know all of this now.

About family law - fallacies et.

Like I said, as long as the kids come through OK, you will have a whole new great ordinary life soon. Not too soon, but within 1-2 years. In the meantime you are lucky to have your faith.

Regards,
Mark

[Lee Blaske]

.......At the beginning of every year, my wife gets a new calendar. The FIRST thing she does is to turn the page to the appropriate month and mark the anniversary of her mother's death. It's like she PLANS on being sad and depressed that day. One year, we were out of town and even though my wife knew that day was coming, like on many extended road trips, we simply lost track of what actual day of the week it was. The day passed and before she knew it she had FORGOT to, dare I say...."celebrate"..........her mother's death.
so............long story short, I guess I'm saying that I understand this is a fresh wound. i would never try to dismiss your sadness at it. But if there is any way you can somehow avoid making this some sort of "calendar day", do so.

It is interesting how people do mark these things based on the calendar, considering how arbitrary the amount of time it takes the earth to orbit the sun happens to be. Maybe another solution would be to mark painful anniversaries on the calendar of a planet farther out in the solar system. That way, you wouldn't have to remember it so often.

Mars, for example...

http://pweb.jps.net/~tgangale/mars/c...ndar_clock.htm

OTOH, you could celebrate pleasant things like your birthday based on Mercury's calendar.

http://pweb.jps.net/~tgangale/mars/mercury/gangale.htm

Lynn, really sorry to hear these details. Upon reading your post, I have to say that the first thing that crossed my mind was: "Do you really want this stuff out on the web?" I know everything I post here gets referenced in Google, and my outspokenness on various religious and political topics is going to come back and bite me one day. Once it's out there, it's hard to call it back.

Lee Blaske

[Wireline]

Don't forget also, Lynn...you have got one powerful social support network, full of people who will go to great lengths to assist you if asked....

From what little you have shared regarding this matter, all I can say is that your faith and calm outlook towards life in general has been a model for all of us. I know its no consolation, but your shared strength has shown a lot of people that regardless of how bad things may be, there are always things for which to be thankful. That's a lesson we ALL can use.

God bless.

[stereotype]

I know everything I post here gets referenced in Google, and my outspokenness on various religious and political topics is going to come back and bite me one day.

Lee Blaske

Would that day be Judgement Day?


It's a JOKE!!!!!!! please laugh................. I just couldn't pass an opening like that up.......

[Sam Lord]

Bless you, Lynn. I only hope yours is a brighter tomorrow.
Sam